10 Tips for Coaching Your Own Child

Coaching your own child in sports can be a rewarding experience but it can also be wrought with challenges. 

As a parent, you want to help your child succeed and grow—but at what cost? When is it too much? How do you balance your own expectations with those of your child? And how do you make sure the relationship stays healthy for everyone involved? 

Today we’ll explore some of the advantages of coaching your own child, as well as some of the pitfalls you may encounter along the way. We even have a list of pro tips to help you take on your new role as parent-coach.  

Benefits of Coaching Your Child  

Coaching can be a great way to build strong relationships with your kids and teach them life skills that will benefit them for the years to come!  

As parent-coach, you’ll be re-introduced to valuable life lessons like patience, fair play, responsibility, and leadership. You’ll also gain the opportunity to further discover your child’s strengths, attitude, and learning style, which will help you better understand them as they grow older. 

Common Challenges Faced by the Parent-Coach  

Establishing boundaries between the roles of coach and parent can be tricky. 

Parents are often so focused on the performance of their kids that they begin to lose sight of what’s best for them as individuals. They begin to view their child’s participation in sports as an opportunity to prove something about themselves– whether this means showing off how good they are at coaching or proving how much they care about their child’s development as an athlete.  

And then there’s the issue of favouritism. When parents coach their child's team, they may feel pressure to give special attention to their own child, which can lead to unfair treatment of other players on the team. 

Even when coaches make every effort to dispel these rumours, some kids (and parents) will continue to believe it exists, leading some to place higher expectations on their own children.  

This can be especially harmful if said expectations are not met by the player because of an injury or other circumstance outside of his or her control. In this situation, the player may begin to lose confidence in themselves and their abilities as a result. 

The good news is it doesn’t have to be this way! Follow our 10 tips below to coach your child successfully.  

10 Tips for Successfully Coaching Your Own Child  

1.) Keep it Fun  

We all want our kids to be successful and learn life lessons through sports. But sometimes we forget how much of a role fun plays in that success.  

If you make sure your child is having fun while playing, even if they aren’t winning every game or hitting every puck, they’ll be more inclined to stick with it long enough for those skills to develop.  

What does it mean for something to be “fun”? It means there’s no pressure on your child to win or perform perfectly; it means there are no hard feelings about mistakes; and it means everyone involved is there because they want to be there– not because they have to be there. 

2.) Understand your motivation for coaching your child 

As a parent, you may have many reasons for wanting to coach your child’s sports team. You may want to spend more time with them or share the love of the game—and those are both good reasons! But do these reasons benefit everyone on the team? 

If you’re thinking about taking on the role of head coach for your kid’s team, make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons.  

3.) Remember: Parent First, Coach Second 

Coaching is just a part of your role as a parent; don't lose sight of what's most important: your parent-child relationship. 

Your goal should be to give your child the tools they need to succeed—and let them take it from there. If you try too hard to control everything, your child might feel like they have no say in their own life. Instead, trust that they'll grow into the athlete you know they can be if you just give them room to do so. 

4.) Treat everyone the same 

It’s easy to fall into the trap of being harder on your own child than you are on other kids. But this is an unhelpful and destructive pattern that can leave you feeling frustrated and guilty, and your kids feeling resentful or defensive. 

As a coach, you must set an example for all of your players by treating them with equal respect and fairness. This means not allowing yourself to be harder or easier on your own kid than you are with others– and making sure that everyone knows it.

5.) Just Listen 

Coaching your child’s sports team can be a rewarding experience, but it can also be challenging. One of the most important things to remember is that you need to listen to what your child has to say. Your child needs to feel comfortable talking with you about their feelings, and they need to know that you will always be willing to lend an ear.  

Not everyone may respond positively to a player’s parent coaching the team. Some teammates may respond through jealousy by rejecting or ignoring your child socially. But by encouraging your child to communicate openly with you, you can have conversations and work through these difficult situations.

6.) Establish Boundaries 

There are many challenges in being a coach, but one of the biggest is having two separate relationships with your child. 

While establishing boundaries between the two roles is difficult, it’s not impossible. Here are a few ways you can do so:  

• Leave practice in the past: sometimes gameday may leave you or your child feeling defeated, but these emotions shouldn’t come home with you.  
• At practice, you are ‘Coach’: this reaffirms the coach-athlete boundary you are trying to set while also showing the other teammates that they aren’t receiving preferential treatment.  
• Don’t over- or under-play your child: this one is especially tricky. If possible, try to use game data like batting averages, to determine plays.  
• Try not to talk about the sport on the way home: it’s one thing if your child wants to discuss something from tonight’s practice but avoid bringing anything up yourself.  

 7.) Ask your child how they feel  

Having a parent as a coach is a highly personal decision. Before saying yes to the position, consider their opinion. Make sure they’re comfortable with it before agreeing. If they’re not okay with it, take it with a grain of salt. Remember, you’re a parent first. 

While some kids may welcome having a parent as a coach with open arms, others look at sports as being the one place they have that’s their own and prefer if they could keep their parents in the bleachers. 

If your child is on the fence about having you as a coach, offer to help them out by doing things like picking them up from practice or helping them practice at home. This way you can work together while still maintaining some distance.  

8.) Find ways to spend time with them outside of sports  

If you're a coach, or thinking about becoming one, it's likely that you spend a large portion of your free time with your children. And while this is great, there's something to be said about spending time with them outside of sports.   

After all, what goes on during the game is just one part of the relationship you have with your child—and it's important to find ways to build other conversations, activities and life outside the game.

9.) Criticize Constructively 

Feedback and communication are critical components of coaching. However, when coaching your own child in sports, you need to be careful with the way criticism is provided.   

Aim for an environment where children feel safe and supported. Avoid phrases like “you’re not good enough,” or “you need to get better.” Instead, try phrases like, “I see the potential in your abilities,” or “I know that you can do better.”  

This type of positive reinforcement will encourage your child to believe in themselves, which will ultimately lead to greater success on the field or on the ice! 

10.) Host Regular Team Meetings  

When coaching your child, it's important to remember that there are two sides to every game: the parent side and the player side.  

On one side, you're a coach, and on the other side, your child needs to learn how to be a team player. Asking players for input about how to achieve team goals gets everyone involved—and this means that there are no feelings of favouritism or "speaking for" anyone else on the team.   

Gear up to Coach with Front Row Sports!  

Whatever your sport, whatever your level, there's no reason to settle for gear that doesn't fit right or doesn't perform as well as you need it to. You can find everything you need at Front Row Sports: the best selection of gear and equipment for all levels of athletes! 

So stop by one of our locations today and let us help you find the perfect gear for your game!